I know there are many many things I could be doing other than sitting online looking at Isabella's baby pictures and my pregnant pictures. I think I [not so] secretly like to torture myself. These three pictures make me want to start the baby-making process all over again. Its so funny because each of these pictures represent a different kind of naivety on my part, and for some reason I think it would be so different to do again.
Im thinking here: Wow I love being pregnant. I have no idea what all those other women were talking about when they said they were miserable. Obviously this was so meant to be and I was meant to have 10 children. If not, why would I love this so much? Birth and caring for a new born will be a breeze for me because unlike other women I KNOW what im doing. I was born with it.
Reality: Yes the pregnancy was easy, tons of complications at birth that were a BIG slap in my overly optimistic face! Then came tons of negative thoughts towards other women who didn't have the problems and complications I did. Then the ground moved beneath my feet when it occurred to me that maybe I wasn't meant to have 10 children even though that has always been the purpose I knew I was here for. Then more negative thoughts towards other healthy natural birth having women.
Im thinking: This baby is gorgeous. She is so cute and small and she will be for sooooooooooo long. I thank people for all the size 2 toddler clothes I'm receiving laughing to myself about how she will never be that big! How I will be holding on to those for what seems like forever! Also I'm thinking, Wow I have no time to do anything anymore.
Reality: TIME FLYS! I find it harder and harder to remember these moments. This feels like yesterday, and yes she is wear size 2t. Already! I thought I had no time then, HA! She doesn't sleep for the majority of the day anymore. Im lucky if I get an hour!
Im thinking: Oh my goodness, we forgot out bathing suit! What will the other moms think if I put my baby in the pool naked? Im doing it anyway because it is Texas and summer time and HOT. Wow, Bella is sitting up now, she is so big. She is an early sitter. It must be because of my great parenting skills. She is a genius. I can't wait until she can walk and talk and run around like the big kids.
Reality: Who cares what other moms think? Since when did I ever really care about what other people think? Why should I start now? All kids hit different stages at different times. [although im still convinced my daughter is a genius]
I hope to be a little more mindful today then I was then. Children sure do have a way of making time go by a little faster than I would wish. I think I'm going to go crawl in bed with Isabella and holder her all night.
Im sure there is something unique and new about each pregnacy, birth, and new born baby and im very anxious to see how our next one will go.